1999 Comic Relief Special: Celebrity Party

A BBC film crew write into the Dibley Parish Council asking if they can make a film in the village. David wants to repeal the request but it's carried overwhelmingly by the rest of the Council who are very excited by the prospect of being on TV yet again!

Geraldine graciously invites Johnny Depp and the other celebrities in tow to a party at the Vicarage; Alice is preparing for the party but doesn't realise she has her dress on the wrong way round!

The party begins, and so Johnny Depp comes round with a host of celebrity friends, including Shawn Connery; Madonna; the Duchess of York; and Robin Cook (who, it transpires, kissed Geraldine).

Because the whole party occurred in the dark, David doesn't believe that the party actually happened; he says the next day that he thought Johnny Depp brought round a couple of impersonators instead in order to fool Geraldine. He's quickly corrected, however, when the Duchess of York drops by to pick up her tiara which she'd left behind at the party last night. She and Geraldine discuss when they'll meet up at another party some time in the future, and David is left absolutely flabbergasted.

First broadcast: 12th March 1999 (Approx 10 minute duration)

1. Autumn

Alice and Hugo return from their honeymoon after spending 14 months in prison for accidentally helping a lady smuggle drugs, they announce Alice is pregnant. Geraldine helps Alice self-diagnose her pregnancy using more modern methods than those appreciated by Dibley.

Geraldine gets very excited when she receives a surprise phone call from Simon Horton who wants to drop by and see her. Alice gives her some key advice about wearing only a pink duffle coat to look "most moist-making", but Geraldine declines.

Whilst Geraldine's trying to have some time alone with Simon, she's interrupted by all of the villagers who each drop by in turn with different requests: Frank and Jim require an answer for The Sun quick crossword, and David brings round Scrabble to play. After enduring this for a while, Simon comes along in a dressing gown and tells them to leave. Whilst they speculate about the ethics of a vicar having premarital sex, Geraldine has plenty of it!

The next day, Simon dumps Geraldine, so she shouts at Jim for being male, before resigning from her job. Because Frank stands in and bores people to death (literally!), the villagers beg for Geraldine to come back to work as soon as possible: a nice happy ending!

First broadcast: 24th Dec 1999

2. Winter

It's Christmas, so Geraldine thinks about the need for some seasonal entertainment in the village. Alice initially has the very good idea of having an outdoor nativity play; she then becomes too enthusiastic about this and suggests that the audience need to be shouting "He's behind you" to the wise men when looking for Jesus!

Auditions are held for the play which take place with the usual eccentricity: Frank auditions as a wise man and speaks in the voice of Stephen Hawking; Owen wants to play the King and so dresses as Elvis; and Jim also wants to audition for the King, so dresses as Martin Luther King.

Alice and Hugo prepare very successfully for the roles of Mary and Joseph, learning Hebrew perfectly. Geraldine casts David as Herod who wants to bring out the allegedly "nicer side of Herod"!. The rehearsals happen with great chaos and misunderstanding, with Alice becoming offended by Geraldine shouting at her when demonstrating method acting.

On the evening of the play, it all goes dreadfully wrong, of course, with the villagers forgetting their lines and becoming most confused. Alice goes into labour, which causes mayhem on the stage but makes for a realistic play!

First broadcast: 25th Dec 1999

3. Spring

Geraldine wants to open a crèche in the village, inspired by the birth of baby Geraldine (Alice's new baby).

The Parish Council are happy with the idea and so Geraldine invites someone from the Council to come round and inspect. Baby Geraldine sprays the vicar in the face with urine just as the lady from the Council calls by to check up on the suitability of Dibley as the location of a nursery; Geraldine answers the door dripping with urine, and then shakes the lady's hand whilst her's are still covered in faeces. It's lucky the lady from the Council is new and used to be a librarian!

The Bishop visits to conduct the christening; he's highly eccentric as well as very loud. Geraldine and David keep agreeing and this leads him to think they should marry. David even starts behaving generously to charity and proposes to her romantically. She agrees but then sees sense, much to David's sadness.

First broadcast: 27th Dec 1999

4. Summer

The Parish Council want to celebrate the millennium with a statue in the village. But something more urgent is afoot, a water shortage is occurring in the village: every resident is creative in cutting water usage, with Alice watering Geraldine's plants using vodka rather than water, and the other residents not washing and not flushing their toilets!

Officials from the water-board arrive to explain their master-plan: they're going to turn Dibley into a giant reservoir and will therefore need to re-house the residents elsewhere. They're bribed handsomely to move and for a moment it seems like a good idea until they realise what they're leaving behind. The villagers see sense and decide to protest in an effort to keep their current homes. Jim has a more creative idea involving making "new animals" with an axe so Dibley's seen as a place where rare species live!

Geraldine organises a big protest including chaining herself to the church, which goes very successfully until she needs to go to the toilet and Jim takes over, unable to tell the media the actual reason for the protest. Ironically, Jim's plan works, for the water-board decide not to build on Dibley because of all the "new animal species" they found there!

First broadcast: 1st Jan 2000