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As a child people used to call me a 'wombling nob box' because i would try to staple mugs to cats. This meant i was not allowed to play the usual playground games like goose-riding and rugknocker. I wasted my formative years in lengthy discussions about the advent of nuclear fission with my thumbs. Even they betrayed me and fled.
Thumbless and friendless i voluntarily wet other peoples beds for thirty six years, but it soon dawned on me that my urinary antics had not bought me closer to the friendships i sought. And that is where you come in.....
...Please be my friend. I have a pet piece of UPVC window in my airing cupboard. we can feed it toenails together and laugh at the 'normals'.
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