SERIES 5 - First broadcast 2005

1. Death

Jonny finds his near-death experience of being gunned down by the police has a profound affect on his relationship with Janet, as she struggles to cope with her loss. The funeral of Donna's mother takes place.

First broadcast: 2nd Jan 2005. Note: Although the title of this episode is officially 'Death', the title that appears on screen at the start is 'Dead'.

2. Nobbly Bobbly

Donna discovers a dreadful secret in her late mother's house. Louise decides to reveal the awful truth about Janet & Gaz. Meanwhile, even biscuit therapy isn't enough to overcome Jonny's fear of leaving the house.

First broadcast: 9th Jan 2005

3. Shrink

Janet & Gaz decide to take some extreme measures to stop Louise's blackmail plans. Donna's spending spree is interrupted by Gaz's bombshell.

First broadcast: 16th Jan 2005

4. Ecuador

Jonny's new car gets him into trouble with women. After confronting Janet, Donna plans her revenge on Gaz for his infidelity. Louise resorts to underhand tactics as she seeks forgiveness from Jonny for getting him shot by the police.

First broadcast: 23rd Jan 2005

5. Potato People

When Jonny is banned from the off-licence where he has been buying alcohol for a gang of kids, he tries to sub-contract the work to Louise, but his plans land him in ever deeper trouble. Donna is still not speaking to Gaz or Janet, after she discovered their infidelity, and is living back at her mother's house. Janet tries increasingly desperate measures to make things up with her. Now that Gaz is alone, Kelly tries to seduce him, by dressing up as a Donna look-alike.

First broadcast: 30th Jan 2005

6. Antlers

Gaz's plans for Jonny's stag night go badly wrong, when he discovers that all their friends & acquaintances know that he slept with Janet, and Jonny still doesn't know. Gaz invites a load of strangers instead. Louise is determined that Janet's hen night should be really wild, as she fears that she will be going to prison after her court appearance on the same day as the wedding.

First broadcast: 6th Feb 2005

7. Crab

It's the morning of Janet and Jonny's wedding but unfortunately the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen. Donna worries that Janet has done a runner. She decides that in order to find them her only option is to call the man she despises... Gaz.

First broadcast: 13th Feb 2005

8. Fat

Donna has become a successful sales executive at a bucket factory. Gaz is unable to get over losing Donna, and has been consoling himself by constant eating... and he's put on 15 stone! He's mortified when he bumps into Donna and she can't believe the size of him.

First broadcast: 20th Feb 2005

9. Stot or Pronk

Janet's having a hard time remembering things now she's pregnant. Louise wants to stimulate their brains in the pub quiz. Kelly comperes the quiz and spends the evening making lewd comments about Gaz and Janet sleeping together. Janet's waters break.

First broadcast: 27th Feb 2005

10. Who's The Daddy?

Donna and Gaz try to make each other jealous by talking about imaginary new partners. Donna ends up upsetting Gaz when she says he was crap in bed.

First broadcast: 6th March 2005

11. Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba

Jonny's feeling left out as Janet devotes all her attention to baby Corinthian, talking to him constantly in a baby voice. Desperate to get some attention for himself, Jonny decides to act like a big baby - literally.

First broadcast: 13th March 2005

12. God

Jonny can't help thinking that baby Corinthian is a bit boring, and comes up with some ideas to make him a bit more interesting. Janet decides to have the baby christened and have Gaz and Donna as the godparents.

First broadcast: 20th March 2005

13. Love 83199

Jonny realises it's time to be responsible now he's a father, and incredibly, decides to get a job. He's amazed to find his dream job is being advertised in the local paper - working in a biscuit factory! Now all he has to do is get an interview...

First broadcast: 27th March 2005

14. Baa

Louise and her new boyfriend Mick are getting on well - she loves hearing all his celebrity gossip. None of her friends believe she has such a stylish boyfriend, and she wants to introduce him to them all. Only trouble is, her squeak is starting to annoy him!

First broadcast: 3rd April 2005. Note: Alternative title for this episode is: 'Near, Far'