SERIES 1 - First broadcast 1995

1. The Queen's Birthday Present

It's the 10 anniversary of Inspector Fowler and Patricia Dawkins relationship but Raymond has completely forgotten. He is far too busy with matters such as pickpockets and buying a present for the Queen's Official Birthday.

Grim on the other hand is busy trying to bring CID into the 21st century by investing in computers for the department, who are trying to trace stolen credit cards (except Kray who is busy ordering Pizzas and Kebabs). Goody meanwhile is trying to impress Habib whilst they're on the beat by stopping a man from jay walking, arresting a man for helping his Gran with her shopping and nicking a lollipop man for standing outside a school.

Fowler loses his credit cards to a pickpocket and then can't get through to report it whilst Grim receives an early Christmas present when he discovers that Fowler's card has been used in a drug deal. Goody tries to make up with Habib by buying her Champagne and Choccies only to hear that she hates it when a bloke thinks Champagne and Choccies make up for being an arse. Fowler meanwhile has been told about his anniversary and in an attempt to get himself and Goody off the hook he takes Goody's unwanted presents and gives them to Patricia - the only problem being he forgets to take Goody's "Dear Maggie (spelt Magy), sorry for arresting the lollipop man any chance of a bunk up? love Kevin" label off the Champagne. Both men get a slap.

First broadcast: 13th Nov 1995

2. Fire And Terror

Habib takes a fancy to a Fireman much to Goody's horror but this Fireman seems to enjoy talking to Goody more. Fowler meanwhile is having a hard time with hoax callers much to Grim's delight, even more so because he believes he is on the verge of catching a terrorist (although Kray seems to be spending a lot of time on the phone to the kebab shop).

Habib goes on a date with Gary the Fireman and is very disappointed when he turns down the sex being offered to him on a plate. Goody meanwhile is trying his best to impress Habib himself and convince her that Gary isn't right for her. Grim and his CID officers head off to join Special Branch outside the terrorists home (after rubbing uniforms' nose in it) and successfully make the arrest. Back at the station Patricia allows a drunk past the front desk because “he's a sad useless excuse for a man and I thought you might get on” roughly translated, she's angry that Fowler keeps avoiding sex. The drunk proceeds to throw up in Fowlers hat.

Next Grim arrives with the commander of Special Branch who asks to see Fowler. Fowler puts his hat on forgetting it's full of sick. Whilst Grim is out buying a leather jacket, Fowler is visited by a member of the neighbourhood watch from the road where the terrorist lived. He soon discovers that the so-called terrorist is none other than the hoax caller. As the man leaves he tries to take Habib, Goody and Gary hostage, in the course of which Gary reveals he's gay and fancies Goody. Fowler soon reveals the terrorist is no more than a loner and sends him packing.

First broadcast: 20th Nov 1995

3. Honey Trap

Grim asks Fowler if he can borrow Habib for an entrapment operation for a dangerous criminal. Fowler reluctantly agrees even though it means Habib will have to pull out of the police pub quiz team. Patricia is meanwhile getting suspicious of the amount of time Fowler and Habib are spending together especially when Habib arrives for work disguised as a tart and tells her that Inspector Fowler ordered her to dress that way.

Fowler is meanwhile trying to find a replacement on the quiz team for Habib. When Patricia turns him down and Goody and Gladstone turn out to be too thick he resorts to asking the criminals in the cells. Meanwhile Grim has decided to step up the operation and make Habib go even further to get information out of the villain. Habib isn't sure but agrees, though Fowler washes his hands with the whole business and explains everything to Patricia - but not before she destroys the new coat of arms for the station front desk. Grim prepares to take full credit for the operation when Habib arrives with the suspect handcuffed to her. However all is not what it seems. He has made a citizens arrest on her - for entrapment. Grim has to take full credit. Fowler meanwhile gets Habib back for the quiz team in time for the final.

First broadcast: 27th Nov 1995

4. Rag Week

Rag Week hits Gasforth once again with full force much to Fowler and Grim's irritation. Grim is fed up with nicking juveniles rather than real, dangerous villains "like in the old days when if a man wanted to rob a bank he went out and bought a shotgun".

Following a hoax threat from the "Stneduts" demanding freedom and autonomy for "Egelloc" or they will attack with deadly "Dratsuc" (Actually Students who want freedom and autonomy for College or they will attack with Custard) Grim decides to go to the local college to compare handwriting. He eventually comes back with a small group of students in tutus and gorilla masks who he wants charged, Habib asks if it's for looking stupid.

Fowler meanwhile is under pressure from Patricia to renew their standing orders at the bank. After a long wait in the queue and a row with DC Kray over using his police ID to push in the queue, Fowler returns to work without having renewed the standing orders. Patricia angrily goes herself. She later radios the station to tell Raymond there's a hold up in the bank. Grim is so happy he could cry. The police surround the bank and Grim communicates with the villains via his car phone using all his negotiating skills (which are like those of an embittered Rotwieler). The villains ask for a Pizza, which Fowler goes to organise. A pizza boy in a T-Shirt and boxer shorts later approaches Grim wanting to make a complaint about police harassment. Fowler has taken his trousers and coat and bike and enters the bank in disguise. He quickly takes control believing the masked men to be students on a rag stunt. However the masks are pulled off to reveal genuine villains.

First broadcast: 4th Dec 1995

5. Night Shift

Grim is getting involved in a nationwide operation with Scotland Yard about stolen cars getting sold on the continent through organised crime (one word apparently). Night Shift is proving to be very busy. A young lad is brought in for taking without consent and dangerous driving and a heroin addict is brought in and threatens to kill someone with a bottle unless he gets Smack, or as Fowler puts it "A smack which he and Goody oblige him with".

Patricia has had a bad day, which is made worse when Fowler informs her that his son Bill has come to stay. That night Patricia tries to coax Fowler into having sex. Fowler is too embarrassed and just can't do it. Patricia demands they see a therapist, which Fowler dismisses at once. The next morning Bill comes down to breakfast with a girl in tow much to Fowlers despair. At the station the next morning Grim is late, he has been at Scotland Yard, which he makes sure everyone knows. Fowler agrees after persuasion from Habib to see a sex therapist with Patricia. The consultation with the sex mad therapist proves rather overpowering - even for Patricia. Grim meanwhile goes to interview the car thief brought in last night. He's shocked to find it's his son Darren. That night Fowler, deciding he'd rather do anything rather than visit that awful therapist again agrees to indulge in a bit of rumpy.

First broadcast: 11th Dec 1995

6. Kids Today

Fowler informs his officers that Gasforth has been chosen to host the Sub-District Regional Police Conference and the subject is "juvenile crime". Habib suggests that they try and encourage youngsters to get involved in things to occupy themselves that aren't illegal. Fowler suggests a camping trip. Grim is not at all happy about this and insists that he and CID will show the conference the right way to deal with juveniles. Nick em, lock em up and throw away the key (or door as he says at first).

His first attempt is to try an undercover operation; he sends Kray and another officer into a squat to catch people drug dealing at a rave, however Kray is not allowed past the front door and is told to “Bog off copper”. Back at the station the uniform branch prepare for the camping trip but events are interrupted when Habib finds a baby abandoned outside the station, Patricia is soon going all gooey over it and starts dropping hints to Raymond about having a family of their own.

More trouble comes in the form of a riot at a fascist meeting, which the police are called in to break up. When Habib and Goody take some lads down to the cells one of them uses racist abuse towards Habib, which causes Goody to punch him. The next day Goody is called in to see Fowler who informs him that the boy's mother is pressing charges for unprovoked assault. Despite this, uniform go ahead with the camping trip much to Grim's amusement and he informs Raymond that while they're off rewarding young offenders he will be nicking some. Later that day Grim and his team arrive at the squat and begin a raid - only to be informed by a neighbour that Fowler has already taken them camping... Grim is furious. The camping trip seems to be going well until one of the young girls disappears. When she turns up she reveals that the baby Habib found was hers and her boyfriend made her dump it as he thought it might not be his anyway. Fowler is outraged at the lad's attitude and almost hits the boy until he remembers what happened to Goody. Fowler calms down and suggests that they get some sleep and discuss things in the morning.

The next morning however Fowler and his team wake to find the kids and the tents gone. Back at the station Fowler manages to get Goody off the hook when he sees the boy Goody punched being hit by his mother and goes to arrest her unless she drops the charges. That evening a discussion between Fowler and Patricia about having a child causes Fowler to be on the receiving end of an assault himself - courtesy of a large fish!

First broadcast: 18th Dec 1995

7. Yuletide Spirit

Christmas has arrived at Gasforth and with it the annual production of Peter Pan and Raymond is determined to once and for all get the part of Captain Hook. Unfortunately he fails once again and just to add insult to injury, the part goes to none other than Grim. Goody meanwhile has been getting into the Xmas spirit and has been buying presents for his colleagues - including two special ones for Fowler and Habib, however both are rather puzzled when they open them as Habib finds a puncture repair kit whilst Fowler finds a set of sexy lingerie.

Fowler soon determines that there has been an awful mix up and Goody takes the underwear to give to Habib. Unfortunate for Fowler, Patricia has already seen the lingerie and thinks they're Raymond's present to her and before long Fowler is demanding that Goody hands over his bra and panties. However before he has the chance to get the underwear back a couple of new age travelers arrive at the station and the woman goes into labour and gives birth in the interview room; they call their child Noel as it's Xmas and, as Goody points out, Noel Edmonds is the spirit of Christmas.

While all this is going on Grim is tackling learning his lines for the Panto whilst on the trail of some dodgy carol singers, it seems like it's going to be a good winter when he arrests a load of carol singers in the act and takes them down the station. However once he gets there it turns out to more a case of Christmas is cancelled, he has arrested the Chief Constable, the local MP, their wives and the Bishop of Gasforth - the Chief Constable is furious and demands to see Grim after work on Boxing Day which means no Panto for him and thus Fowler gets to play Hook after all and he manages to get the underwear from Habib but not before she gives Goody an earful.

First broadcast: 26th Dec 1995