Swiss
Toni
played by Charlie
Higson |
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The strangely named Swiss Toni is an egotistical, elaborately
dressed secondhand car salesman with his own showroom. Although
he appears to enjoy an ultra-high opinion of himself, Swiss
Toni is fraught with anxiety and uncertainty, painfully aware
that his flash exterior is nothing more than a glossy spray
job on a rather dodgy 'cut and shut'. Although Toni has huge
trouble expressing emotion he certainly has a fair amount
of wit managing to compare everything from painting a wall
to selling a car to the act of 'making love to a beautiful
woman'.
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Ruth
played by Matilda
Ziegler |
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Ruth is Swiss Toni's long suffering wife. Swiss
thinks she is lovely, gentle, kind and beautiful... and a miserable
***** from hell!
It turns out it wasn't good enough for Toni to give her fine
wine and Belgian chocolates, Ruth was looking for a little
more and has left him. Can Toni get her back?
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Mother
played by Elizabeth
Spriggs |
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Swiss Toni considers his mother
a monster, "Her heart isn't made of stone, it's made from
quick-setting concrete".
She lives in a fantasy world where it's still the 1920s
and has brought up her only son Swiss to be a cringing neurotic
individual who is utterly unable to engage with his own emotions.
The fact she called her son "Swiss" must go someway
to show that she is someone who probably should be avoided.
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Geoff
played by Simon
Day |
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Geoff, an experienced car salesman at Swiss' garage, is an
alcoholic and his boss is the only one who doesn't realise
how bad his drinking problem. His evenings consist of falling
down stairs, kissing tables and urinating in bins.
Maybe Swiss is just turning a blind eye to Geoff's dependance
as despite being extremely lazy and often intoxicated on the
job it can't be denied that Geoff is a vital cog in the Swiss
Toni's Motors machine - he is the only one who ever seems
to manage to sell a car.
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Paul
played by Rhys
Thomas |
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Paul is the office junior, slightly in awe of Toni and Geoff,
and more than willing to learn all there is about selling
cars and making love to beautiful women. Most things he doesn't
know scare him - which basically is an awful lot... Everything
from Emus to wet food, the pop group Coldplay to iodine.
He lives with his girlfriend Cicely, someone who he talks
about a lot in between his theories about women and relationships
much to the annoyance of the other staff.
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Miranda
played by Emma
Rydal |
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The only member of the team who has anything actually approaching
a healthy sex life is Miranda. She is a sexy and worldly-wise
young woman who holds the place together, doing the paperwork,
administration and accounts.
Swiss employed her as part of his "continued commitment
to equal opportunities in the workplace", however the
real reason is because "she's got a cracking bust and
legs that go up to her armpits".
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