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| SERIES 3 (Season
III) - First broadcast 1989 |
1. Backwards
When Kryten crashes Starbug onto a planet, Rimmer and Kryten
are shocked to discover that they've landed on earth. It's
not quite normal though. Time is running backwards. When Lister
and the Cat finally find them, Rimmer and Kryten are working
as a comedy act. It's just a shame they get fired due to Lister
getting involved in a bar room brawl!
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Best Quote: Rimmer and Lister realising what
its like going to the toilet in a backwards universe!
Rimmer - "Where's the Cat?"
Lister - "He won't be long. He's just...you
know...in the bushes.
[They exchange glances]
Lister - "We've got to stop him!"
[ The cat comes out of the bushes doing a slightly strange
walk.] |
First broadcast: 14th Nov 1989
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2. Marooned
When Starbug crashes onto an arctic moon on a collision course
towards a minefield of Black Holes (or as it turns out later
- grit!), Lister is left stranded with Rimmer in freezing
cold surroundings and little heat. Rimmer asks Lister to burn
his guitar for heat, and while he pops outside, Lister cuts
the shape of a guitar out of Rimmer's precious camphor wood
trunk. Still, the time they spent together wasn't totally
wasted. When else would Lister have found out that Rimmer
was Alexander the Great's chief eunach?
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Best Quote: Rimmer telling Lister where he
lost his virginity.
Rimmer - "Sandra, she was called. We did
it in the back of my brother's car."
Lister - "What was it like?"
Rimmer - "Oh, brilliant. Incredible. (Goes
glassy-eyed.) Bentley convertible. V8 turbo. Walnut
veneer panelling. Marvellous machine."
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First broadcast: 21st Nov 1989
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3. Polymorph
A chemelionic shape changing mutant known as a Polymorph
is roaming around Red Dwarf, disguising itself into objects
to fool the Dwarfers. It turns into a basketball, a kebab,
Lister's boxer shorts, a snake and a beautiful woman before
finally draining all the crew of their negative emotions.
From Lister it takes fear, from the Cat it takes vanity, from
Kryten it takes guilt and from Rimmer it takes anger. Thank
god that Lister's brave enough to offer his life up for the
good of the others...
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Best Quote: Rimmer turns into a bit of a
geek with a pipe and a beard and takes over with suggestions
of how to kill the Polymorph.
Rimmer - "Call it extreme if you like,
but I propose we hit it hard and we hit if fast with
a major - and I mean major - leaflet campaign, and while
it's reeling from that we'd follow up with a whist drive,
a car boot sale, some street theatre and possibly even
some benefit concerts.
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First broadcast: 28th Nov 1989
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4. Bodyswap
When the scutters badly re-wire the ships circuitry, the
ship looks as if it's about to explode, and the only people
who can over ride the auto-destruction mechanism are the dead
captains and officers. Kryten has an idea to transfer one
of the officer's brain information into Lister, so that he
can stop the ship exploding, but it turns out it wasn't connected
to a bomb after all! Still, the whole experience leaves Rimmer
thinking. If people can swap bodies, why doesn't he transfer
his brain into Lister's body and then he'd be human again.
Strangely, Lister agrees, but Rimmer soon takes it too far.....
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Best Quote: Rimmer and Lister having a discussion
about why they can't sleep.
Rimmer - "Probably those kippers you had
for supper."
Lister - "Nothin' wrong with kippers for
supper."
Rimmer - "But kippers vindaloo? Can't be
good for you."
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First broadcast: 5th Dec 1989
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5. Timeslides
While developing some photographs in Red Dwarf's lab, Kryten
discovers that the pictures in the photos are moving. He calls
the Dwarfers to see and they soon realise that they can jump
into any projected photo slide and travel back in time, but
they cannot move outside the frame of the photo. Lister decides
to travel back in time and change his future so he doesn't
end up on Red Dwarf for the rest of his life. The plan works,
until Rimmer interferes to get him back.....
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Best Quote: Rimmer decides to selfishly "rescue"
Lister from his new, rich life.
Rimmer - "It's my duty. My duty as a complete
and utter bastard!"
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First broadcast: 12th Dec 1989
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6. The Last Day
Kryten receives a video message saying he is to be replaced
with the newer Mechanoid model - Hudzen. He doesn't feel particularly
upset though, because he believes that when Mechanoids and
electrical appliances reach their expiry date, their souls
go to silicone heaven and they are eternally rewarded. Lister
decides to give Kryten one brilliant last night before he's
replaced and the crew team together to organise a party. Of
course, things never turn out how they should and Hudzen is
prevented from taking over when he arrives....
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Best Quote: The Dwarfers vow to support Kryten.
Kryten - "Is this the human value you call
'friendship'?"
Lister - "Don't give me this Star Trek crap,
Kryten, it's too early in the morning!"
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First broadcast: 19th Dec 1989
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Series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
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