Series 1 Synopsis

1. Caroline's First Day

It's Caroline Todd's first day at the hospital and things are going from bad to worse. She was locked out of her house, she smells like the inside of a taxi, she can't get a decent ID picture (as her hair isn't enjoying a "full-frontal approach") and to cap it all off, she ends up in Guy's flat with a "monster" in the toilet that won't go down. Phew! That is an eventful way to start a new job!

Elsewhere in the hospital, Mac and Doctor Statham enjoy the "banter", Martin goes on the internet to discover if his classmates have ended up with a worse life than him and Joanna Clore has fun with a vibrating bed.

First broadcast: 3rd Sep 2004

2. Rumours

Rumours are rife about what actually happened when Caroline stayed over at Guy's house the night before - rumours which Guy is quite happy to promote until Caroline discovers what he has been up to. Joanna tries her best to hide her relationship with Dr Statham, who is getting more and more clingy. However, Dr Statham is more interested in getting his coat to "sweep and flow" as he walks around corners. Elsewhere Mac finds out that his ex -girlfriend is getting married and Martin goes on the search for his Soya milk which the cleaners have moved.

First broadcast: 10th Sep 2004

3. Lodgers

Joanna starts worrying about how old is she getting, and also about the fact that her relationship with Alan is going stale and so begins turning her attention to head of IT Department Lyndon, much to Statham's horror... To try and improve things between himself and Joanna, Alan tries to become more spontaneous (with the help of a recorder).

Mac meanwhile, discovers that his ex-girlfriend who didn't want children is now pregnant whilst Caroline sets about getting herself a lodger, though Angela is not a welcome applicant.

First broadcast: 17th Sep 2004

4. Joanna's Birthday

It's Joanna's birthday - a fact she is quite happy to hide. However she is delighted when she receives a locket from who she thinks is Lyndon - but in fact turns out to be Statham. Her disgust increases tenfold when she learns just exactly what the deposit is that Alan has put inside it.

Elsewhere, Guy decides to assemble a fanciability league table consisting of all the female staff, which Caroline is less than happy about (especially as her marks were lower than Angela's) and decides to get her revenge. We also learn that Martin is Joanna's son (something which she tries her best to deny).

First broadcast: 24th Sep 2004

5. Housewarming Party

Caroline decides to have a house-warming party, and it seems like the whole hospital staff are there: from admin to the surgeons to Sue White. In preparation for the party, Martin lets Sue take him shopping for an outfit, and ends up looking like "the love child of Wayne Sleep and Godzilla". This doesn't put Karen off however, as she still (unsuccessfully) tries to get together with him. Caroline is a bit luckier and manages to kiss Mac, Guy, Martin and even Sue! But which one will she choose?

Alan's luck is also in as Joanna decides it's time to spice up their relationship. Unfortunately for Alan, it involves wearing an itchy balaclava and having to sound like a cross between Marlon Brandon and Robert Kilroy-Silk.

First broadcast: 1st Oct 2004

6. Tests

Everyone's stressed out: Harriet and Joanna both have pregnancy scares (and unfortunately for Harriet, she's the one that's pregnant again); Martin is sitting his exams and is petrified he will fail and Caroline is horrified to discover just exactly what she got up to at the party. Mac meanwhile has an interview for a consultancy position, which doesn't go too well.

First broadcast: 8th Oct 2004

7. Tangled Webs

Martin gets his exam results back, but can't quite work up the nerve to open them, despite Boyce offering to pay him if he did. Eventually Guy does it on his behalf and takes advantage of the opportunity to play a cruel joke on him in the process.

Elsewhere in the hospital, Alan Statham tries to get over Joanna dumping him and manages to by discovering the love of Jesus (and of course the fact there is a very attractive chaplain helps).

First broadcast: 15th Oct 2004

8. Slave Auction

Mac is starting to make a new life for himself, with a new girlfriend and a new job in Sheffield (much to the horror of both Caroline and Sue), but will he go? Meanwhile Guy tries to prove that he isn't a snob and has lots of "working class chums".

The big activity of the night in the hospital is the Slave Auction with everyone bidding for those that they fancy, with Martin having the most extravagant bid of the night for Caroline (he paid 3000 pound for her) though perhaps with one of the least successful dates, after deciding that the way to Caroline's heart was by being a b*stard. Sue buys Guy and gets him to act like Mac for the night, Joanna gets Lyndon much to his horror and Boyce buys Alan for the grand total of 30p and the end result of the night is something which will live with Alan for a long long time!

First broadcast: 22nd Oct 2004

9. Emergency

Caroline still can't believe that Mac is moving to Sheffield and tries her best to deter him but with no luck. Martin makes a horrifying discovery, that Guy is in fact his half-brother and Mac and Guy set the ultimate bet - for Guy to sleep with Joanna, who unbeknownst to him is in fact his mother.

Things begin to look up for the staff, with Mac and Caroline kissing and finally becoming a couple and Martin asking out Karen, who of course is delighted. However, things suddenly take a turn for the worse when Guy and Joanna realise their relationship to each other and after a fight between Martin and Guy, a botox stabbing and an ambulance stealing incident, things end in a literal cliffhanger!

First broadcast: 29th Oct 2004

Short Special: Comic Relief 2005

Mac, in an attempt to stop Sue White's advances, says that if she can raise £10,000 for Comic Relief, then she can touch his arse. Sue promptly asks Martin, Joanna, Guy and Alan for their donations. However, just as Sue is about to get her way, Mac escapes her clutches.

NB: Caroline, Boyce, Harriet, Karen, Kim and Rachel do not appear. See our video section for links to videos of this sketch.