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| SERIES 3 - First broadcast 1998 |
Cast and Crew had already decided not to do anymore Father Ted, when star Dermot Morgan died of a massive heart attack the day after filming was completed on series 3. The broadcasting of the series was postponed a week out of respect, and the "Craggy Island memories" scene at the end of the final episode was added in remembrance.
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1.
Are You Right There, Father Ted?
Ted finally escapes to a new parish in Dublin, but is quickly returned to Craggy Island. Once there, his impression of a 'china man' leads to him being dubbed a racist, a misunderstanding which isn't helped by his accidental impersonation of Hitler, and friendship with a priest interested in 'war memorabilia'. In order to clear his name, Ted is forced to resort to an idea from Dougal.
First broadcast: 13th March 1998
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2.
Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep
'King of the Sheep' 1998 begins in earnest, but there is intrigue afoot surrounding this high profile sheep contest. Having bet the parochial house's entire heating allowance on Chris, the 'champion sheep', Ted finds himself facing a cold winter when 'the beast' arrives on Craggy Island. He'll have to race against time to cure Chris' nerve-induced burps, as no burping sheep has ever won the contest (except for Big Brendan in 1983, but that was a fluke). First broadcast: 20th March 1998
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3.
Speed 3
When Ted has Craggy Island milkman Pat Mustard fired for 'delivering more than dairy products', Dougal takes over the Island's milk float. Unfortunately, however, Pat Mustard has planted a bomb on the float, and to prevent it from exploding, Dougal must stay at over 5mph. Ted must formulate a rescue plan, but what good are a tractor-bound mass and a wealth of disaster movies against a booby-trapped milk float and a big pile of cardboard boxes in the middle of the road?
First broadcast: 27th March 1998
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4.
The Mainland
Jack needs new glasses, Mrs Doyle is going to meet Mrs Dineen, and Ted has £200 winnings to pick up. That means a visit to mainland Ireland for the group. Nothing ever goes to plan, however, and Ted and Dougal end up lost in the Very Dark Caves, after Ted's been beaten up by Richard Wilson, and Dougal's realised he didn't have breakfast. Whilst they encounter a fate worse than death (Father Noel Furlong), Jack accidentally joins alcoholics anonymous (leading to a trip to the police station), and Mrs Doyle gets arrested over a coffee shop brawl. Fortunately, their bail is exactly £200…
First broadcast: 3rd April 1998
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5.
Escape From Victory
The time has come for Ted and his nemesis Dick Byrne to again do battle, as they coach rival sides in the All-Priests 5-a-side over 75s indoor football challenge match. As per usual, the loser has to do a forfeit determined by the winner, so the two will stop at nothing to gain the upper hand, even using electronic surveillance. Whilst Dick gets a new Italian striker, Ted loses his main strike force, and has to resort to drastic measures to extract himself from this completely ludicrous situation. Meanwhile, Dougal is busy ensuring no-one steals the corner flags.
First broadcast: 10th April 1998
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6.
Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse
Having lost the football tournament to Dick Byrne, Ted has a truly terrible forfeit to complete. He has to overcome his fear of Bishop Brennan, and try to find a way to kick him up the arse, and not end up being killed or sent to a horrible new parish by the Bishop. All this, and he also has to contend with Father Jessup, the most sarcastic priest in Ireland. Fortunately, Dougal comes up with an idea to save the day.
First broadcast: 17th April 1998
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7.
Night Of The Nearly Dead
Mrs Doyle wins a poetry competition (apparently her poem was much better than Ted's) and the prize is a visit by every housekeeper's favourite TV star, Eoin McLove. Whilst Eoin turns out to be very different to his on-screen persona, the house is besieged by old women, attempting to 'mother' Eoin. It falls to Ted and Dougal to try and hold them off (possibly diverting them with a large game of bingo) until the cock crow ends the madness (except for the jumper Mrs Doyle bakes inside a cake).
First broadcast: 24th April 1998
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8.
Going To America
The last ever episode. After Ted saves a priest from committing suicide, he's offered the chance to go and work in an American parish – in Beverly Hills. Although this is his dream, he can't bring himself to tell the others that they can't go with him, as they're so looking forward to it. Although his work is revitalised, and he manages to cure the depressed Father Kevin (at least temporarily), he pulls out of the job at the last moment, when he discovers he'll have to deal with violent gang wars. The episode ends with him reflecting on events in the past three series.
First broadcast: 1st May 1998
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