British Sitcom Guide - Father Ted

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FATHER TED

CHARACTERS

SITCOM INDEX

Father Ted Crilly played by Dermot Morgan
	Banished to Craggy Island following an incident which led to him going to Las Vegas instead of a little boy going to Lourdes ("the money was just resting in my account") , Ted still dreams of a Parish in America. Due to the insane world in which he resides, Ted continually finds himself in evermore embarrassing situations from which he has to extricate himself, usually through a hugely complex web of lies. Despite these vices, Ted has a good heart and does try to help people (even if it's only because they owe him money). Brilliantly played by Dermot Morgan (whose untimely death occurred shortly after the third series had been completed) Ted was undoubtedly the linchpin of the program.
Father Dougal Maguire played by Ardal O'Hanlon
	Banished to Craggy Island following the notorious 'Blackrock' incident in which the lives of many nuns were irreparably damaged, Dougal is the cause of most of Ted's embarrassment. With no grasp of the religion he professes to practice, a belief that Bishops love sci-fi and fumigate houses, and an inability to understand most of real life (Dougal has charts listing the difference between Dreams and Reality and various things that do not exist) Dougal continually infuriates Ted. Nevertheless, he is Ted's best friend and immortal sidekick, even if he shouldn't be allowed to do funerals. Brought to life by Ardal O'Hanlon, Dougal is probably best summed up in one scene, where Ted shows him some model cows and looks out of the window - "now one last time. These are small, but the ones out there are far away".
Father Jack Hackett played by Frank Kelly
	Banished to Craggy Island following a particular wedding in Athlone, Jack is an eternal drunkard, with little care about what he drinks. Past tipples have included 'Toilet Duck', 'Windoleen', Floor Polish, and an entire bottle of 'Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze'. With a verbal repertoire of about four words ("drink", "feck", "arse", "girls") Jack tends to rely more on violent forms of communication, with Ted usually on the receiving end. Frank Kelly portrayed this strangest of characters, who usually avoided the fallout of any of Ted's schemes, and who, in leap years, is very much affected by the changing of the seasons.
Mrs Doyle played by Pauline McLynn
	The priest's housekeeper, Mrs Doyle is a woman with a tea obsession, who manages to get cocaine and raisins confused, and can change the mood of a conversation instantly. No one knows what happened to her husband (she only mentions him once) but her existence now seems primarily tea focused (staying up all night for three years in case anyone wants a cup of tea). Also noted is her talent for falling off the windowsill when cleaning. Pauline McLynn played the character who gave us that immortal catchphrase "will you have a cup of tea? A go on. Go on. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on…".
OTHER CHARACTERS

Bishop Leonard Brennan
played by Jim Norton

The Bane of Ted's life, and an archenemy of Jack, Bishop Brennan (played by veteran actor Jim Norton) is the head of the Diocese, and it is he who banished the priests to Craggy Island. He appears in three episodes, and each time is more bemused and angry at the household. He has a son in America, but you mustn't say anything about that (Dougal does) and you must refer to him as 'Your Grace' never as 'Len' (Dougal does). He has a rabbit phobia, and on one trip to the island awakens to find himself in bed with a naked Jack, whilst tens of rabbits cover his room, rabbits which Ted and Dougal are carrying. Despite this, Ted and Dougal are infinitely more scared of him than he is of them.

Fathers Dick Byrne, Cyril MacDuff and Jim Johnson
played by Maurice O'Donoghue, Don Wycherley and Chris Curran

Fathers Byrne, MacDuff and Johnson reside on Rugged Island, and lead a life parallel to that of Ted, Dougal, and Jack. Dick (Ted) is the brains of the operation; Cyril (Dougal) is the idiot; and Jim (Jack) is the old drunkard. Dick is Ted's nemesis, and whilst he and Ted continually compete (sometimes betting as much as £5!), through a mixture of luck and dishonesty Ted usually comes off best.

John and Mary O'Leary
played by Patrick Drury and Rynagh O'Grady

John and Mary are the local shop owners. This married couple forms the very image of wedded bliss - when the priests are around that is. The rest of the time they routinely insult, maim, and even attempt to kill each other, with knives, guns, wardrobes - whatever comes to hand.

Father Larry Duff (series 2)
played by Tony Guilfoyle

'Larry is tremendous fun' (according to Ted) but lives a cursed life, as Ted continually rings him on his mobile phone, an event which always ends in calamity. Thanks to Ted's poor timing Father Larry has driven over a cliff, been hit by a knife thrower, lost a £10,000 prize, been trampled at the Glasrowan Donkey Derby etc, etc. What, however, can you expect from a man who once wanted hundreds of free-range rabbits, but gave up on the idea and got twelve rottweilers instead?

Father Noel Furlong (series 2+)
played by Graham Norton

Played by Graham Norton before his ascent to super stardom, Father Noel is a man too insane even for Dougal. Leader of the St Luke's Youth Group, nothing seems to stop his continual enthusiasm and high spirits, not even being buried under a pile of rocks in a cave.

Father Fintan Fay (episodes 1.6 and 2.10)
played by Jimmy Keogh

The 'mad monkey priest' communicates purely through hoots and yowls. Although he is apparently able to write powerful essays on 'why I should have a parachute', he should not be allowed to see his reflection, as he doesn't know he's a priest.

Sgt Deegan (episodes 1.4 and 2.4)
played by John Olohan

Craggy Island's local representative of law and order, John Olohan plays a character with very little to do. His biggest moment came when he had to track down the person who stole Mr Benson's whistle (he needed to get a helicopter in specially) but most of the time he just has to hunt down crazed celebrities.

Father Bigley

Never seen on screen, Father Bigley is an enigmatic character, only referred to by other priests. Apparently, he looks dead, has puffy fish lips and red blotches on his face, wears perfume, and has a friend who was sending weapons to Iraq. According to Ted, he likes Dana, and although he's in a home because of some fires, he's not mad.

Tom (series 1 - 2)
played by Pat Shortt

Tom is Craggy Island's resident psychopath. Sporting an 'I shot J. R.' top (it comes in both T-shirt and sweater varieties) he roams the island with his shotgun, shooting ravens, and withdrawing money from the Post Office. We last saw Tom when Ted asked him to 'take care' of some rabbits. Whilst Ted meant this in a 'Julie Andrews' way, Tom had a distinctly 'Al Pacino view' of the situation.