SERIES 2 - First broadcast 1992

1. Digger

Richie and Eddie plunge to new depths when they sign up for a blind date at the local love bureau. Richie takes the unusual step of pretending he is the Duke of Kidderminster, realizing that he doesn’t have much to offer women in his genuine incarnation. Miraculously the proprietor finds a potential date for him, a Moldavian countess, prompting him to sell some of his internal organs to finance a ‘romantic’ dinner at the flat and convince Eddie to pose as his butler.

To his utter astonishment, the sham seems to work, and he is on the verge of achieving his lifelong ambition, losing his virginity, when disaster strikes.

First broadcast: 1st Oct 1992

2. Culture

An air of despondency has fallen over the flat. Due to Richie’s pursuit of larger genitalia and Eddie’s pursuit of alcohol they have fallen behind with their TV rental money and as a result the set has been confiscated. They are clutching at (very small) straws in the quest of entertainment and, after remembering that attempting to play Tiddlywinks hospitalized them both the last time, they settle on chess.

Unfortunately, after endless preparations for the grand event, they encounter a snag- Richie doesn’t know how to play chess.

First broadcast: 8th Oct 1992

3. Burglary

Whilst hoisting an inebriated Eddie up to bed as per usual, Richie hears a commotion from downstairs. When he tries to escape out through the skylight without the aid of the ladder (the police have had possession of it since the nurses moved in next door) Richie plummets downstairs and lands on a burglar. They are on the phone to the police when Richie and Eddie notice a rather large bag of swag on the floor and decide to have it for themselves. As is often the case, this plan does not operate as smoothly as they would have liked.

First broadcast: 15th Oct 1992

4. Parade

Richie and Eddie, along with old sparring partners Spudgun and Hedgehog, take part in a sham identity parade to make a bit of cash to finance their usual half a mild in a pint glass. When they get to the Lamb and Flag Richie unwillingly engages in conversation with a one-legged Falklands veteran whilst attempting to chat up the new barmaid.

When the veteran falls asleep Richie and Eddie nick his priceless wooden leg to try and finance a ‘dead cert’ bet on the not-at-all-tellingly named ‘Sad Ken’. After all this tomfoolery they fall foul of the police and end up where they started, at an identity parade, but this time as the suspects.

First broadcast: 22nd Oct 1992

5. Holy

It’s Christmas in Hammersmith (and everywhere else, presumably), and like the giant child he is, Richie is getting over-excited about the preparations and Eddie is wishing he had nothing to do with it. After the usual violence and some decidedly feeble gift-exchanging, Spudgun and Hedgehog arrive for the ‘meal’ that Richie has concocted. After deciding that nobody is hungry anyway, the four are settling down for some banal party games when the doorbell rings...

First broadcast: 29th Oct 1992

6. ‘S Out

Richie and Eddie and have lost a bet with Mad Ken Stalin and their forfeit is to rough it on Wimbledon Common for a week. Cue Womble-hunting with chocolate Hob-Nobs for bait, fishing with Eddie’s vest, avoiding large piles of dog excreta everywhere, arguing about the sleeping arrangements in the miniscule tent, and wondering what they are going to eat since Richie has forgot to bring any food for them.

When night falls fate has a few interesting surprises in store for them, not least someone doing rather poor owl impressions.

First broadcast: 10th April 1995 - this episode was not shown until 1995 (after the 3rd series) due to a murder on Wimbledon Common in 1992.